Mom's B-day

So, today's my mom's birthday. I made it up in time to go to church with the whole family, and we went out to Naperville, and played Golf (card game). Good times, good times... "note the perfectly manicured nails!!" Trooper died yesterday... I'm sad. Work's been work... nothing new there. We spent the last couple days getting stuff ready for the wedding; getting Chris a tux, getting our rings. SHOOT! I forgot to look for my birth certificate!!!!! AARRRGGGHHH! Oh well. Anyway, we've got 4 kittens.. probably about 2 or 3 months old, so anybody that wants kittens let me know. Our landlord is looking to sell the whole block of buildings that he owns, so we might be looking for somewhere new to stay in about 6 months. Other than that, there really isn't anything new going on here, except I'm getting more respect. YAY ME! lol.. I've started putting my foot down more, and I like the new me. My resolution for the week: drink my 4 big glasses of water at least 3 times this week. I'll check back in later and let you know how I did.

going through the motions

*sigh* do you ever get tired of just going through the motions of life? I sure do. Lately, it feels like that's all I've been doing. Fighting with Chris, going to work, coming home to fight some more. I'm so sick of it! We haven't spent any kind of real time together lately, unless you count the first and last five minutes of someone's day as "time together". Tonight we watched School for Scoundrels, and not even 5 minutes after the movie was over, he was out cold. Why am I doing this to myself? What am I hoping to get out of it? Honestly, I don't even know if we're going to get married in August. Here it is June 7, we haven't done any of the planning, don't have invites, don't have ANYTHING. I don't think it's going to happen. I really don't. I was reading my book today, and one chapter was on standing by your family. Family can mean alot of different things... it can be your family of origin, it can be friends. What family boils down to is people you can celebrate life with, the little things as well as the big. Something that may seem small and trivial to most of you, but it's a big thing to me: it's been a week since my last drive off. I'm getting better at my job. I'm getting worse at knowing myself. Who am I, anyway? I feel so numb lately, and I don't know why. Ok, I do know why, but I don't want to admit it.